On self-love affirmations
If we pause to tune inwards to our inner monologue, as happens when we sit on our cushion to meditate, we might begin to become aware of a lot of non-affirming self-talk and other negative chatter that appears to be on a seemingly continuous loop in our mind.
Try it.
Stop whatever it is you’re doing.
Sit or stand up straight. Close your eyes if comfortable. Take a few conscious breaths—become aware of your inhale and exhale.
Now become aware of your mind and its endless thoughts. What is it saying right now? Is it using positive or negative language? Is it using affirming or defeating language? Is it serving as a cheerleader or a critic of what’s going on around you?
Spend a few more moments here.
Okay. Now open your eyes.
How was that?
Hopefully, we experienced at minimum a balance of both the positive and negative, though as we learn to become more mindful of our inner monologues, we might notice a tendency towards negativity bias, which served us quite well thousands upon thousands of years ago but which needs to be re-wired for the modern times in which we live.
The good news is that we can do exactly this: by noticing, shifting, practicing, we can, in fact, learn re-wire our brains towards more useful thought patterns.
There are many ways to do this. I believe strongly in the power of journalling—in general, and specifically via Julia Cameron’s, the morning pages. We can work to eliminate word choices such as “s/c/would” or “must” or “have to”. Amazingly, the simple act of smiling more can help!
And we can incorporate self-love affirmations into our daily life.
What Are Affirmations?
An affirmation is a small statement to be written, read or spoken out loud on a daily basis, of positive belief that contributes to self-change, that provides inspiration and motivation, that boosts self-esteem, that focuses attention, that helps to achieve a sense of safety and hope.
As they work with the subconscious, which plays a major role in the actualization of our lives and the manifestations of our desires, affirmations, as with any self-care and well-being activity, need to be practiced with consistency and repetition. Just as we can’t train the body overnight to run a marathon, we can’t train the mind overnight to change its beliefs and habitual responses.
Practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time (unwaivering commitment, patience), without a break (consistency, devotion) and in all earnestness (wholeheartedness, faith).
~Sutra 1.14, Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras
How to Start Using Affirmations
STEP ONE
Choose one of the affirmations below, or write your own, as your affirmation should be personal and should vibrate in your same frequency. Questions to ask yourself—where do you need to re-write your own thought patterns? What will help you to live more positively and to be in a more easeful, peaceful state? What resonates with you in this present moment?
A good affirmation should be:
In the first person, becoming statements of identity;
In the positive;
With an emotional charge;
In the present state; and
Not caught up in the how.
STEP TWO
Write your chosen affirmation 10 times, saying it out loud or repeating it in your head each time you write it.
Observe your thoughts, spoken by your Saboteur, or inner critic.
Write down what it says.
Investigate its story.
Repeat your affirmation again.
STEP THREE
Place a sticky note of your affirmation next to your bedside table, near your alarm clock and/or on your bathroom mirror.
Read it as you go to bed each night, when you wake up in the morning and while you’re brushing your teeth.
Or
Place a notecard with it on your computer monitor, in your car, etc.
Or
Record the affirmation via an app (i.e., Apple’s Voice Memos or Anchor), and listen to it every few hours, setting an alarm on your phone to remind you.
STEP FOUR
Meditate daily on your chosen affirmation. Do this daily, with consistency and intention.
Another practice is from a French psychologist, Émile Coué, who in the 1920s discovered the power of what he termed, “conscious autosuggestion”.
STEP FIVE
Sit in a relaxed position with your eyes closed.
Repeat out loud in a natural voice—“Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better”.
Repeat this affirmation 20 times first thing in the morning and again 20 times last thing in the evening.
Try to focus 100% on the phrase, not allowing negative thoughts to appear.
Have absolute faith and confidence in this, and have certainty that you’re going to obtain what you desire.
Give this a try for 30 days, and see what changes manifest for you.
The use of self-love affirmations will help to re-wire our brains from our tendency towards negativity bias, which results in internalizing, catastrophizing and polarizing our experiences, to an ability to think more positively, about our self and our life around us. In addition to practicing daily affirmations, we can also make self-care and well-being decisions such as moving, breathing and being each day, eating and sleeping well, surrounding ourselves with positive people, maintaining our sense of humour and checking in daily with ourselves through journalling, meditation and other self-reflection means.
Good luck!
References:
High Brow. “Growing Stronger Every Day.” www.gohighbrow.com.
Lively, Kathryn J. “Affirmations: The Why, What, How and What If?” www.psychologytoday.com. 12 March 2014.
Moore, Catherine. “Positive Daily Affirmations: Is There Science Behind It?” www.positivepsychologydaily.com. 31 January 2021.
Sitta, Loura. “Everything You Need to Know About Positive Affirmations.” www.nomadsoulzz.com.
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