A reflection on the Earth as medicine
I’ve been learning about koans—paradoxical riddles of sort in Zen Buddhism on which students meditate in order to uncover knowledge, intuition, enlightenment. This morning’s lesson was particularly relevant, as though the koan purposefully presented itself to me. Of note, I happen to be in Vermont for the week to ruminate more deeply on this past year-to-date and what I might (continue to) learn from it moving forward. So…you can likely see how this particular koan being the meditation of the day piqued my interest.
Other translations of the koan include:
Medicine and disease (or sickness) exactly correspond (or correspond to each other).
The whole Earth is medicine.
What is self? (Or what are you?)
There are many types of disease—physical, psychological, spiritual, etc. Merriam-Webster defines disease as “1: a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms” with a synonym of sickness. And disease, or sickness, can and often does result in dis-ease—in lack of ease, in lack of comfort, in lack of being in accord with the true nature of things. Examples include ailments, infections, disorders as well as heartache, grief, remorse. Inertia, or being “stuck”, might also qualify.
There are also many types of medicine—also physical, psychological, spiritual, etc. Merriam-Webster defines medicine as “2a: the science and art dealing with the maintenance of health and the prevention, alleviation or cure of disease”. Examples include prescriptions, formulas, vaccinations as well as yoga, therapy, Mother Nature. Anything that creates a situation where the body can heal itself might also qualify (enter self-care and well-being).
By most standards, 2020 will forever be associated with disease, sickness, dis-ease. The global pandemic alone, which has claimed far too many lives and has drastically impacted all others to some varying degree, certainly qualifies as a disease that has affected us physically, psychologically, spiritually, etc. From death to illness, to physical distancing to social isolation, to loss of security, employment, ceremonial rites of passage and more, we are living daily in a world—literally and figuratively—of dis-ease.
Yet…interestingly, its cure—a vaccine—will be developed one day (and hopefully one day soon), and having been created from the virus itself. A small dose of the disease will be used within the vaccine, to stir up antibodies within our bodies, to prepare them to ultimately prevent the full-blown disease. So the very medicine for this sickness is the sickness itself. Medicine and disease become a very difficult pair to separate.
Is this true of other sicknesses, of other dis-ease? Can the disease be the medicine? As many of you know, I experienced great heartache and grief earlier this summer after the loss of two identities I had constructed for myself—that of girlfriend and that of employee. Cloaked by the backdrop of the pandemic, the losses were amplified given the additional pressures that surfaced—universal fears, insecurities, sorrow and the like. Is my remedy from the anguish actually the anguish itself?
I’d say yes. If not for the loss of both of these relationships at the same time and during COVID-19, I likely would still be ignorant to “the work” that needed to be done, of which I’ve only just started to scratch the surface but scratch the surface I have. I likely would have enabled myself to continue learning versus doing, understanding versus realizing, not at all integrating the lessons of my body with those of my mind. That is the truth. It is hard to be in the moment, to be in the sickness and to trudge through it. If possible, I would have likely continued to turn away from it. My dis-ease forced me to face it. My disease became my medicine.
I do not want to “return to normal” when the year that is 2020 is said and done. There is no “returning to (fill in the blank)”. In yoga, we learn early on about vairagya, or non-attachment (yoga sutras 1.12 - 1.16). Non-attachment is not to be confused with indifference; rather, it is letting go of how things were in order to be with how things are. It is detachment from expectation.
We will all be forever changed by the pandemic just as I will be forever changed from the losses of my relationship and my employment. Yet…we have already evolved into different editions of ourselves and will continue to evolve due to our ever-changing states. We are not new versions of ourselves, but rather now versions of ourselves. #nownormal
I am not a Zen Buddhist. I am not an expert on koans. I have contemplated on this exact riddle for just this morning. There is so much more depth and complexity to this than this short note can dare share. People spend years, sometimes a lifetime, meditating on just one koan. How can I dare do this koan justice?
But…the underlying concept, regardless of how deep and complex, is something that I have been contemplating on all summer. How can I find good out of bad? How can I find hope out of heartache? How can I find success out of failure?
How can I find me?
My grasping for answers through doing “the work” has been my medicine. The grasping, though painful, has provided me space, via my breath, to bring my body and mind together again. It has opened up gates that I thought were closed, and it has pointed me in the direction of new gates that I didn’t think existed. I am waking up. I am wondering what I am and where I find myself. I am opening to exploration. And I am realizing that healing can come from anywhere, as the whole Earth is our medicine.
This week’s inspiration:
Waking Up, Henry Shukman and his Introduction to the Koan Way lesson on “The Whole Earth is Medicine”—note: the meditation app offers one month free!
